no.234 kaBOOM!

happy fourth of july family and friends-
we love and miss you!

xoxox
e,t,p,d,and b

erghh!!

i know i am bigger than this.
i know it.

erghh!!!!!

no. 233 out of sight

walking into the shoppette just now
a song
was playing that made me stop.
for a minute i was singing along
but my head was somewhere else
thinking of my life
as it was
in another place
and
in another time...

short version-

i know that life passes us by.
i know that while we are gone
we are
out of sight.

and i know that often
out of sight
does mean
out of mind

even to the closest of friends
even to the most important people
even to the family you thought you could never be without.

i know.
i understand.
i get the big picture.

but the big picture isn't the immediate picture
particularly for our children
who are dealing with the heavy reality of saying goodbye.
saying goodbye because it is PCS season in our world

that's the unavoidable time when soliders and their families leave for new duty posts...a Permanent Change of Station.
but really, to military kids and their friends, who know better-
nothing is permanent
and this is just a move
to a new place
far away
from the life you work so hard to create for yourself
in spite of where the military sends you.

in a perfect situation
our children would have:
lived in one community
gone to a single elementary school
experienced preteen angst and upset in one middle school
captured four years of high school
lived in one community.

but they haven't
and they won't
and for every hard goodbye
i pray for a soft hello.

it's as simple and as complicated as that.
we miss you all

kisses and wishes
hope and virtue
umarmen und lieben
e

no. 232

(#$%$(%U(#((#*%**!!!!

now i feel better

no. 231 or the one where she turns 13

that "she" is my little girl
"she" is 13 today.

i think i'm in shock-
seriously.
seriously in shock.
it can't be that 13 years and 9 months of my life with her have already passed.
it just can't be...


i remember everything about being pregnant with her...it was the worst pregnancy...
ever.
i wasn't cute or bubbly
i wasn't gracious
i was enormous
and had the morning sickness of a thousand people
she turned my body upside-down and SIDEWAYS
she messed with me that badly!
i became diabetic
i went on bed rest
i was enormous-did i mention that?!
i was impatient
i was grumpy
i was enormous

i was convinced this baby was
a girl-
our daughter to be.
my mom was the only other person who agreed...even my doctor thought it was a boy
i knew better
she was already giving me the headaches...in utero no less!
heh
just kidding
i knew better though, i did.
from the beginning i knew that she would be the
only
one.
just doodlebug
no other daughters claiming
flesh of my flesh
daughters of my heart-later, much much later
but dollie
she was born and the mold was broken-
one of a kind.

these are the years where mothers and daughters struggle
where the temptation to spread wings is dashed by the primitive need to protect
where voices carry over one another
where tears are mighty
and
where tears are few

i love her with everything that i am
i love her with everything that i have
i love her with everything
i love her.

she is my daughter
she is my gift to the world
she is the world's gift
to me.

kisses and wishes
hope and virtue
umarmen und lieben
on your 13th birthday and every day
Dorothy Laura Grace

xoxox
momma

no. 230 more doodle love!

no pics yet-
sorry.
i know that's REALLY why my 2 loyal readers come here...for the fabbo photo ops.
again sorry.

they are coming-promise.

doodle bug love continues
as she was chosen as
MVP
for the softball tournament!!!
(her team came in 3rd overall, and considering that she didn't know you were allowed to steal bases when she played her first game EVER in April, is a pretty sweet deal!)
oh my stars!
that super duper girlie-o of ours...
she is on a roll
and she deserves the accolades!

side bar:
back to school tomorrow for the training before summer school starts.
bleech
HOW did i end up on THIS train?!
seriously...
trying VERY hard to wrap myself around the positive as i drive friends to the airport for their summer in the states.
we
are
staying
here.
no trips over for us.
*sigh*

thinking about rainbows and ponies right now
rainbows and ponies...
kisses and wishes,
hope and virtue,
umarmen und lieben
e

no. 229 give me a "D" give me an "O"

give me an "L"
give me another "L"
give me an "I"
give me an "E"

what's that spell?!!
we have the most wonderful daughter ever.
that's what it spells!

so my camera, my sweet little 2.0 mega pixels camera finally bit the dust...
natch, it happened when our friends were here, on their honeymoon, i was deathly ill for the SECOND time this school year, and my camera said
"no mas, mommy"
"no mas"
it meant no photos of the family all together
no photos of the lovebirds in our house
no sneak up yelling
GOTCHA!
photos
nothing...until i got the news that our girl had been selected to join the
National Junior Honor Society!

GOOOOOOOO Dollie!!

so off i went, to get a new camera, which (after being purchased and a fast tutorial thanks to Javonne)took beautiful photos of our schatzie looking seriously older than the soon to be 13 year old that she is.

(serious run-on, i know, sorry!)

directly after the induction, she went flying off to the pre-championship softball game she was in. she got there at 5pm, we were on that field until 9:30, it was crazy long, and we were all WHOA tired
BUT
her team won!
now, she-we will be up to our eyeballs this weekend in a softball championship.
fingers crossed the weather will hold, and we'll be able to perfect our farmer's tans as we watch and root...

as soon as i can figure out how to get the camera uploading photos, i promise to update :0)

before i go BIGGEST BIRTHDAY shout out to our number one nephew Jacob...who has a birthday surprise on "pre-order" set to ship out on 22 June...a month late honey bear, but full of all the love an auntie, uncle, and cousins could ever pack into a gift! we love you so very much, are so proud of you, and wish you the biggest and the best for this birthday year!!!


kisses and wishes
hope and virtue
umarmen und lieben
e

no. 228 what a moment of silence means

in our house, well, it's loosely defined.

often by the comings and goings
of teenagers and children,
of company,
of friends,
of family,
of single soldiers stationed here-far far away from home
for whom we carve out a special place
where quiet is quite infrequent
but more often than not the noise is a welcome happy sound.
we create the clatter of this life to keep the rest of the world out.

until we can't
and then the moments disrupt our noise and silence consumes the sounds of life-

a by-line in the army paper, alerting us to the reality of
this life
and how in a moment of explosive violence
this life
is changed forever

a movie that sells out at our PX and in two hours creates a silence by taking your breath away
this life
and how so selflessly these soldiers give all
this life
is changed forever

a place where people prepare, support, and sustain loved ones by providing for the future
this life
and how never forgetting the love, honor, duty, and devotion
this life
is changed forever

WHAT do you do, in that moment of silence, WHAT?

giving thanks is so much more than the dollar you spent on that yellow ribbon magnet you've put on your car
giving thanks is so much more than the poppy you took from the VFW volunteer outside the grocery store today

it is more-more than an outward sign
it is more-more than a day off work
it is more.

my blog
my sermon
my challenge.
coming out of the silence on this post today
is yours.

stop being quiet
take your moments-
your silent moments-
and talk
to your children
to your family
to your neighbors
ABOUT
memorial day.

DO something.
don't make these moments of silence
moments that are easy to come by and easy to let go-
these moments SHOULD make you stop.

each moment signifies the exact second
that someone gave all
so that you didn't have to
and did so because
in the committment ceremony,
in their moment,
they said they would.

what does a moment of silence mean?

in memorium on this day
with respect and profound meaning for your lives
from this army family to all the others
our moment of silence begins now...